My Contemplation
by DustintheWinchester
Summary: Having been fired as a Spirit Detective, Yusuke reflects on the progression he has made before hunting down his demon ancestor. Takes place sometime between Yusuke's Destiny and Return to Demon World.


_**My Contemplation**_

Yusuke Urameshi, former Spirit Detective of the Living and Spirit World sat beside a tree branch taking the time to reflect on the mishaps of his everyday life. Given the recent events that have transpired since Sensui's downfall, in addition to releasing demons into the Living World, emotions ran wild for the fourteen year old. Having discovered his connection to Raizen, leader of the Mozaku as well as his ancestor, numerous questions clouded Yusuke's mind. Whether the result turned out good or bad was out of the window. Simultaneously, he was determined to learn more about his family heritage, one including his biological relation to a full fledged demon.

 _I don't know where to begin. It's not often I take the opportunity to write a journal entry regarding my personal life. This week has got to be one of the most strangest turn of events I thought would never come down. King Yama announced my resignation as Spirit Detective and savior of two worlds. The feud I had with Sensui proved to be the most toughest battle I've endured. Just when I was having too much fun out of this fight, it got to the point where I didn't realize my hidden strength. Aside from the Spirit Gun blast, I had no conscious memory beating up Sensui to a bloody pulp. When it's all said and done, Sensui's defeat allowed the Living and Spirit World to remain parallel and protected from an endearing threat._

 _To be completely honest, the Living World was at risk of yet another potential invasion from the demons. When I meant by another, deja vu struck me hard in the chest. It almost reminded me when Suzaku sent out the Mekai insects brainwashing people into mindless zombies. Not only would it impact my hometown, but the human population would've been in jeopardy had Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, and me failed to close the barrier. Even though I was anxious to find out the person responsible for possessing my body, I couldn't do it at the expense of alienating my friends. They were ecstatic when we returned home to reunite with our loved ones. However, for me personally, all I could feel was guilt consuming my heart. Every night I lay beside that flat mattress, I receive flashbacks, revisiting the same nightmare repeatedly. It got to the point where I started becoming regretful not staying in Demon World._

 _Up until recently, the past year or so I've been monitoring any supernatural occurrences within the two worlds. Starting out as a Spirit Detective, it was a Hell of a responsibility to make sure the Spirit and Living Worlds were secure from potential danger. The moment I sacrificed my life to protect a child from a hit and run, it jump started the changes that I would go through in my life; perhaps I could factor in attitude and personality also affects the way I've treated people around me. I refused to abide to Authority whether it would be my alcoholic mother, Martial Arts teacher Genkai, and heck how could I forget my childhood friend Keiko? I will admit I can be an outspoken pain in the ass at times. For a person like me who has gone through a laundry list of suspension and crime, I knew the road to recovery would be an obstacle - one that's going to take more than just ease to solve an Algebraic equation. As a matter of fact, while I wasn't the smartest kid at my school, one thing I've been good at doing was solving problems using my bare hands. Now I know what you're thinking: fighting doesn't always evaluate a situation. I've learned that sometimes when a dealer tries to push you around your best bet is to flick them off._

Yusuke placed his notebook and pencil on his lap, stretching out his arms. He leaned his rear head against the branch taking a glimpse at the cyan blue sky. The Spirit Detective took a moment to appreciate the beauty and tranquility surrounding his environment. Prior to becoming a detective, he started off troubled with his outspoken mannerism that annoyed the countless people that have confronted him.

"Urameshi, I've been looking all over for you." Spoke a familiar voice. Carrying a pocket folder around his arm, Kazuma Kuwabara chimed in as he noticed the Spirit Detective relaxing against a tree branch.

"Kuwabara, did Koenma told you where I was?" Yusuke asked.

"I was just stopping by to drop some of your homework assignments," Kuwabara explained placing the folder on the ground next to Yusuke's journal. "You've been acting very strange lately. Ever since we've dealt with Sensui, you haven't been cracking up jokes even if they're sarcastic ones."

Yusuke sighed trying to figure out a response on behalf of Kuwabara's comment.

"Aren't you going to answer my question? Is it about that white haired demon you've been stressing out about? Look, fact of the matter is we stopped Sensui from unleashing Hell into our world. Whether or not you have an alter ego, it was your bare hands that brought him down to his last breath," Kuwabara ranted.

"There is something I need to inform you about," Yusuke said. "It's quite a long story but in regards to that white haired demon you saw, that wasn't me."

Kuwabara rubbed his forehead resembling a face palm. "You've mentioned that a bunch of times, quit being in denial," he remarked.

"I had a chat with Koenma at a restaurant. The past few weeks I couldn't help but revisit the same nightmare. I gave it some thought and I've made a decision. I'm heading back to the Demon World to find that S.O.B who took control of me, and what his purpose was to do what he did." Yusuke clenched his fist while fuming his frustration over the issue.

"I thought you were already over this issue. Look, if this means you're going to risk your life once again, count me out," Kuwabara exclaimed. Having known Yusuke, it was rare to see him undergo emotional stress. The first time he passed away, it involved a hit and run where Yusuke sacrificed his life for a child at risk of being run down. On another occasion, the ex-Spirit Detective channeled his remaining spirit energy, annihilating Suzaku and his clones with numerous Shotgun blasts taught by his master, Genkai. The most recent death attempt came when Sensui struck a devastating blow to Yusuke's chest; Little did they realize a hidden source of demonic energy within his body brought forth the resurrection of the 14 year old. Their war with the Sensui Seven has brought out the challenging obstacles involving the potential turmoil that would've occurred had it not been for Team Urameshi.

"Who says you had any part of this? I just want to learn more about who we may be dealing with, and whether or not this demon, like many other ones we've encountered, plan on destroying the world. I don't see how it can get more complicated than that," Yusuke elaborated.

"Let's not make this out to be some cliche daytime soap opera. Maybe I don't understand everything that's going on with your life. At the same time, it wouldn't be the same if I saw a close friend of mine back out of this test in favor of hunting down a stranger that hasn't done anything to us. You and my sister Shizuru have helped me get through some rough times, whether it involved fighting demons or the time you got me to pass a Biology exam. Fact is I wouldn't have gotten this far if it hadn't been for the both of you," said Kuwabara giving credit where credit is due.

"Now it seems you're the one who has been watching too many soaps," Yusuke retorted back with a subtle joke before getting down to the subject matter. "In all seriousness, I can't help but spare some chick flick moments that it's not like me to admit," Yusuke chuckled briefly. "I won't lie, you've brought out the best in me too Kuwabara. We did make a pretty good team in the Dark Tournament; you, Kurama, Hiei, heck even Genkai. I must admit we shouldn't have lied to you about Genkai's passing. It hit us so hard we weren't sure how you would handle it. In hindsight that was a dirty move to even neglect you from the equation, and I've long since apologized for that. I come to realize you are part of the team; you've always been one of us. You even went out your way to make a sacrifice attempt to get me to showcase my true inner strength. Toguro would have won the tournament, and his minions would be reigning terror. To top it off, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

Kuwabara provided some condolence to Yusuke. "Wow, I didn't realize how much we've progressed after all of this time. The only thing I'm more concern about your well-being. We thought you were a goner when Sensui murdered you, and I'm hoping three times won't be a charm. If you're confident about investigating the person responsible for your actions, I won't stop you from going," he spoke with honesty. Over time elapsed between the once former rivals that have since evolved into a strong bond difficult to penetrate. From rescuing Yukina from the deadly fiends of the Toguro Brothers to stopping Sensui and his Band of Seven from reigning terror in the Living World, they've watched each others' backs. Yusuke and Kuwabara glanced at one another each anticipating for a rebuttal. While all of that went on, Koenma descended from the top of the tree.

"Koenma, you've been eavesdropping us the entire time? It wouldn't hurt if I at least have some privacy for once," Yusuke shouted.

"I apologize to alarm you two. Apparently I had a word with King Yama, encouraging him to reconsider his decision. As much as I convinced him to reinstate you as a Spirit Detective, I'm afraid that won't be the case," Koenma informed him of the update.

"It's no surprise really. I just need to learn how to control my demon energy, that's all," Yusuke stood up from the ground engaging in a matter of face-to-face conference between him, Kuwabara, and Koenma.

"...That's all? Yusuke, we're talking about no ordinary energy here. You may have been able to maintain hold of your spirit energy, but as far as I'm concern, this is different," said Koenma.

"Spare me the lectures. For crying out loud my mind has been sprinkling with a butt load of questions," Yusuke cursed at them much to their dismay. "Don't take this the wrong way. I'll be sure to be back in the Living World eventually. I wish I could take the time to get my grades up and continue my education. Lately it's been giving me some nightmares that I have a hard time sleeping, no doubt. The next time I get into a fight, what are the chances that my dark side consumes me again?" Yusuke said releasing some of his emotions from the heart.

"You think that may have been some link to your immense beat down on Sensui? Debate all you want about his philosophy, but he definitely got what he deserved. I've already lost you on three occasions, and I sure as Hell hoped you take it easy from all of the carnage these last few years. It's gotten to the point that I can't stand all of the turmoil that's been haunting me," Kuwabara preached in expression of his concern towards the former Spirit Detective.

"Yusuke, I wish there was something I could do. Truth is I can't tell you exactly what to do and not to do. I'm no longer your mentor in any way shape or form. The point I'm trying to get across is we hope you come out of Demon World alive and well. However, you must realize the repercussions that will impact the countless people who have watched beside you; not just during combat but also factoring in personal life. We are not all perfect. If you're content on investigating this new demon, you're on your own. At the end of the day, we just want to express our feelings in regards to your questionable decision." Following his speech, Koenma let out a huge sigh. What more could he convey given the straight face Yusuke has given to the two.

"I respect your opinion and all. You've been coming to school getting those grades up without having to be tardy or ditching class. I find it hard to believe after all of that, you're just going to undo everything that you've worked hard to improve? I don't know exactly what word would be appropriate to describe this mess." Kuwabara's mind imploded. He struggled to come up with a summary regarding Yusuke's growth not only as a fighter, but as a person since becoming a Spirit Detective.

"Guys I thought I was over this too. I don't know if King Yama made the best decision to fire a reliable Spirit Detective. I'm afraid to say but no matter how much we do to stop a big bad from terrorizing our world, there is always going to be someone who'll find a way to screw with us. This is not simply because I'm after some unfamiliar demon you know," Yusuke clarified.

"I suppose there's no other way I could argue with your situation. Yusuke, it has been a pleasure that Yama and I took the opportunity to take you under our wings. As a Spirit Detective, it was important to make sure no harm is done. Whether crime occurs nearby, here on Earth, the Spirit World, whichever location it may be, we're fortunate to have you serve as our protege. For that I commend every contribution you've given to us, and perhaps someday we'll reopen your case." Koenma complimented bestowing his thanks towards not only his now former student, but rather a close companion he monitored for over a year.

"Well in that case it looks like you leave us with no other choice." On Cue, Kuwabara turned his attention towards the journal lying beside the tree, snatching hold of his friend's notebook.

"Hey what are you doing? Come on guys give that back. This isn't child's play you know," Yusuke shouted attempting to retrieve his journal held by Kuwabara. He tossed the journal over to Koenma taking a glance at the cover of the notebook. At some point, Yusuke quickly got the offense extending out his arm before regaining possession of it.

"They call it a journal for a reason. You could at least respect my belongings. I mean we don't need to make this an ongoing gag," Yusuke warned them. Despite his grumpiness, Kuwabara and Koenma chuckled with laughter. They were aware it was only a matter of time before the ex-Spirit Detective would depart from the Living World once more.

Meanwhile, Yusuke couldn't help but feel embarrassed by what just transpired. "Fine, you got me guys. I guess I needed some clowning around now I think about it."

Kuwabara smiled. Showing his admiration, he assured his support placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Urameshi, whatever is out there, please be careful. You are like a brother to us, and we want to cherish any remaining moment in the tank as we can."

Yusuke spoke up in response to Kuwabara's comment. "Don't mention about it man. You keep fighting the good fight with your education. I helped you out before, and I like to see you continue excelling. Besides that's what friends are for, eh."

Kuwabara's face drew a blemishing red. His shyness was only temporary as his mind circled back to reality.

"Look, I'm going to go visit Keiko at the diner. I've got a priority list of things to do before I leave, so I hope to make the best out of it," Yusuke told them. He grabbed any belongings he left on the ground before setting off from the park.

"Even though Yusuke has been taken, you seem to have developed a slight 'bromance' in him," Koenma concluded judging from the reaction Kuwabara was giving.

"Hey it's not like that. We're just the best of friends, so let's not make the situation complicated than it is," Kuwabara encouraged.

"Well, if you say so." Koenma shrugged following his response.


End file.
